


for all those times i didn‘t walk away

by i_run_on_pasta



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, And at summaries, Angst, Break Up, Chicago Blackhawks, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, Romantic Fluff, Sad Ending, everything will slowly go down, i‘m sorry, just give it a shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-22 06:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_run_on_pasta/pseuds/i_run_on_pasta
Summary: artemi falls (for someone).-or 5 times artemi refused to believe what's happening in front of his own eyes and 1 time he had no choice.





	for all those times i didn‘t walk away

**Author's Note:**

> hi there!  
> this is my first (of probably many) fic(s),  
> so please be patient with me lmao. may i also note that english isn‘t my first language so if you see some mistakes please don’t hesitate to (kindly) bring them to my attention.  
> so, enjoy!!

**0 (prologue)**

artemi was happy.

-

he met his girlfriend at a bar in downtown, on a night out with his team. 

he noticed her the moment he walked in. she was standing in the middle of the dancefloor, surrounded by a group of girls.

her brown hair was slightly swinging as her body was gracefully moving to the rhythm of the song. the short, black dress she was wearing, complimented every curve of her body. 

as his gaze shot up again artemi found her looking back already, smiling shyly at him. 

„go get that“, a voice from behind him said, pushing him into the girls direction. 

he didn‘t need to be told twice.

-

it‘s been nearly one month since that night. 

the night artemi got her phone number, a chaste kiss and a promise to meet up again. 

and they did. not long after that. 

she was sweet and caring right from the beginning. she listened intently to everything he said, made him laugh with silly puns and remembered all the little things about him.

one date and artemi knew he was already completely gone for her. 

she was someone he would gladly take home, to proudly show his parents.

-

he desperately wanted their anniversary to be perfect.

he needed ideas, but his teammates were no help either. 

„just finally take her to bed“, patrick said irritated, after being asked for help at least the hundredth time that day.

artemi pointedly ignored both, his tone and his suggestion with a roll of his eyes.

-

he was nervously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel while they were driving to their final destination. 

she was quietly humming to a song on the radio. 

(she was well aware of the nervousness artemi was radiating but she chose not to comment on it.)

-

it was a beautiful, warm evening in chicago. 

artemi had it all timed perfectly. 

they exited the car and the second they sat down on the picnic blanket he had prepared earlier that day, the sun started going down. 

they sat in silence, enjoying the stunning sight but the tension from before never left artemis body. 

relief washed over him when he finally looked at her.

her eyes were glowing in the reddish light of the setting sun, softly illuminating her skin and her lips were forming a slight smile as she was leaning into his side. 

„it‘s beautiful temi, thank you“ she whispered into his collarbone.

he finally closed his eyes and enjoyed the warmth emitting from her.

yes, artemi was happy.

**1**

as it often was for artemi, things go well until they suddenly don't.

they've been together for a year when things started to take a slow but obvious turn. 

over the course of the year more and more of her belongings could be found at his house.

most of her clothes were hung up in his closet, others were thrown across the living room floor. 

her toothbrush was sitting in a cup in the bathroom next to artemis own, her scent filling the entire of his apartment.

at night, the left side of his bed has never been empty since he met her, her body being a steady weight against artemis front everytime he fell asleep. 

her not being home after he came back from practice was a rare occurrence. 

you could say they were living together.

they were never really planing on it, never talked about it, it simply happened.

he loved it.

\- 

one day he came home after a particularly tiring practice, wishing for nothing more than her comforting presence.

usually she's already standing at the doorway, welcoming him with a warm embrace or a sweet kiss on the mouth, but that day she was nowhere to be seen.

he threw his duffel bag in the nearest corner and proceeded to enter the living room with a quick step, worried.

but there she was, laying on his sofa, phone in hand, giggling about something written on the screen.

he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, then he frowned.

she didn't look up at the noise he made during his arrival nor did she acknowledge his presence in any way.

"i'm home," he said, confusion clear in his voice. 

"hey," she mumbled disctracted, with a slight hint of laughter tracing her voice.

"who are you texting?" artemi asked sharply. 

"it's no one, temi," she said, completely oblivious to his tone, just shaking her head slightly.

he let it go. 

-

artemi hated cooking, hated working in the kitchen in general, but what needed to be done, simply needed to be done. he was sure she would appreciate a warm meal, too.

he decided on cooking her favourite dish, spaghetti. 

he accidentally cut his finger a couple of times while chopping tomatoes and burned himself while cooking noodles but he was proud of the outcome. 

he wasn't the best cook, he knew that, everyone did, but it smelled good, promsing. 

he smiled to himself. there was only one thing missing at the table. 

„dinner is ready, i cooked“ artemi called, loud enough for her to hear.

„later,“ she responded after a couple of seconds.

„okay,“ he sighed and picked up his fork to start eating alone. the chair opposite of him, where she usually sits empty. 

he lost his appetite.

**2**

he sighed and put his bags down to grab his keys out of his pocket to unlock the door, after he repeatedly knocked just to be left with no answer. 

he awkwardly pushed the door open, both hands full of bags and stepped into his unsurprisingly empty apartment. he dropped all his baggage to the floor at the first empty space he found.

he didn't even wince at the dull pain that shot to his injured shoulder at the sudden movement. he was used to it at that point, with him carrying his things on the entire way home. but artemi wouldn't complain about it after he refused patricks offer to help him.

he just crawed her comforting company more than anyone else. he didn't want anyone else.

he wanted her to tell him that he will get through it, that he will be able to play again soon. that she watched the game and was proud of him, that she knew he gave his best even though it wasn't nearly enough. 

he shook his head to clear his mind from those thoughts. he knew that was what patrick and the rest of the team would want. there was no point in blaming himself for a loss in a game he couldn't entirely play in. he had to leave after he was checked into the boards by his opponent during the first period. 

the pain was too intense.

-

artemi texted her right the same evening, asked her to come catch up with him. after all they haven't seen each other for three weeks with him being on the road trip with his team. he desperately needed distraction.

not long after that the in his hand phone buzzed with an incoming message.

'i'm out with friends. later' is all she answered.

he stared at his phone.

"later," he repeated to himself, blaming the painful tugging low in his stomach on hunger.

(he wasn't hungry.)

-

artemi kept waiting, telling himself she would but she never came home.

that night was the first he slept alone in his apartment in something that felt like forever.

the emptiness in his bed almost drived him crazy.

he missed the soft tickle of her hair against his chin, they way her legs tangled with his own under the blanket and how their breathing synchronized as they were falling asleep. 

(he missed **her**.)

 **3**

everything happened fast after that. 

before he knew the heap of her clothing that piled up next to his couch started shrinking until it completely disappears.

along with her. her visits started to become less frequent, the afternoons they spent together rare and the nights she spent out becoming routine instead of her sleeping at home with artemi, cuddled up in their bed.

-

of course the team soon realized something was wrong with him.

"you basically have been walking with a rain cloud above your head the past few weeks," patrick pointed out, which really wasn't helping his case at fucking all.

"what's going on? you know you can trust us, bread," he prompted after artemi offered no answer to his statement. 

"it's about my girlfriend," he started reluctantly, then took a deep breath and after that, like the floodgates have been opened, he spilled everything that has been on his mind to his teammates, who all stopped talking to listen to him, curiously.

a short silence followed then. the lockeroom was completely quiet and patrick just stared at him wordlessly. he wasn't expecting artemi to answer him at all in the first place, but he recovered quickly. "i'm sorry. that sucks, dude."

next thing, a chorus of 'i'm sorry's echoed through the room, combined with sad glances, all thrown into his direction. 

"and oh, about that.." patrick spoke up again, looking at him sheepishly, guiltily? artemi couldn't tell. "there's something i- we-? doubtlessly need to tell you. or, should have sooner, probably. it's just- there was no good opportunity to do that yet..."

artemi raised his eyebrows expectantly, but wasn't sure if he even wanted to know.

"we saw her at the a club we went to after a victory. you didn't come with us, you never do these days. she was surrounded by a couple of guys, dancing close," jonny butted in, apparently tired of patrick beating around the bush.

"that's a way to put it," patrick mumbled quietly, more to himself than to anyone else.

artemi stood there with his mouth slightly open, at a loss of words. 

the world started spinning around him, he needed to sit down. hold onto something, anything. something to ground him again.

he attempted to speak, mouth opening and closing several times yet no words came out. his mouth suddenly dry.

he felt the corners of his eyes filling with tears, burning.

jonny was looking at him regretfully, but artemi didn't even notice.

"that couldn't have been her. it's impossible, " he argued weakly, unbelievable even to his own ears. 

he glanced up slowly just to be met with all the sympathetic glances and small nods of affirmation his captain and his teammates were sending him. there weren't any words to describe how much he hated it in that moment. feeling like that.

"she wouldn't do that," he tried stating firmer, more confident though the crack in his voice betrayed him.

artemi didn't believe them. he couldn't. they must have mixed her up with someone else, right?

(he didn't want to believe them.)

**4**

********

********

artemi woke up to a steady, warm weight against his back. 

he slowly opened his eyes, still heavy from sleep. he blinked a couple of times to clear his vision and craned his neck to his right to look at the source of the warmth. 

and oh- it's been a while. he was met with her face only a few inches away from his own, sleeping peacefully with puffs of breath escaping her slightly opened mouth. she looked breathtaking like this, calm. his heart swelled at the sight.

he must have made a noise because her eyes fluttered open slowly, smiling tenderly when she saw artemi already looking at him and leaned forward to capture his lips in a delicate kiss. 

"good morning sleepyhead," he whispered, pressing his lips into her hair as they parted again. she kissed his neck in response.

-

they lay in bed like that for a while, neither of them willing to move, enjoying each others closeness.

artemi was the one to break the silence. this was the perfect opportunity to talk about everything that has been bothering him. talk about them.

so he did.

\- 

she was looking at him sad-eyed, mouth drawn into a thin line after he finished speaking. artemi felt a knot form in his stomach. he didn't like seeing her like this, sadness and hurt painting her expression.

"i'd never cheat on you," she started slightly hysterical. "i'm sorry for making you feel like that. i never meant to." 

his grip on her shoulders tightened possessively, glad that he had been completely wrong in thinking that. simply overreacting.

"i'm so sorry, temi," she repeated, her soft eyes vulnerable. "how can i make this up to you?"

he didn't reply but kissed her instead. first it was almost hesitant but turned deep and full of emotion he had been holding in all this time.

"i'll be only yours," she said inbetween kisses, breathless. "forever."

it felt like a promise.

-

he had missed this. kissing, talking and cuddling. only them together, alone. 

but nothing lasted forever. soon his alarm went off, signaling artemi that he had to get ready for practice. he sighed. he didn't want it to be over yet.

she must have caught up with his expression because she whispered, "go to practice, i'll be here waiting for you to come back home." and shoved him off the bed, laughing.

-

"i love you," he said before he left.

-

artemi did extraordinary well during that practice, earned praise from his coaches and joked around with his teammates. he was back to being his old self but happier, so much happier.

he was the first to go shower, to be dressed and the first to leave.

if his teammates noticed his behaviour that day, they didn't say anything.

-

she wasn't home when artemi came back.

**5**

********

********

artemi checked his watch again, sighing. 

"08:47pm" the bold digits said. 

they made plans for tonight, wanted to meet up at his place at 8pm and go out for dinner together but she wasn't there yet. he called her at least 20 times now, to no response. did she forget or fall asleep?

he checked his phone again. nothing.

he made his way to the kitchen, drank a cup of water and sat down.

he decided to wait.

-

"11:21pm" the clock on the wall in the kitchen said.

he stood up to walk into the living room, throwing the bouquet of flowers he bought for her into the trash on his way. it didn't look like she would be coming over anytime soon. he felt the disappointment flooding through his system.

artemi took off his shoes and his suit coat and sat down onto the couch, suddenly tired.

he had a bad feeling about the whole situation. what if something has happened to her? should he go out to look for her? his brain helpfully painted out the worst scenarios anyone could ever imagine in that situation. he shook his head quickly to clear his mind from those horrible thoughts.

(that didn't help to calm down his nervousness. not in any way.)

-

it was fairly early in the morning when artemi was woken up by a sloppy, erratic knocking on his front door.

he scurried to open the door, instantly awake and afraid of what was waiting for him.

she was standing there in a short red dress, her ponytail a mess of dissolved hair. her pupils blown wide to the point where artemi could barely make out her irises, leaning heavily onto the doorframe and completely reeking of alcohol. 

he winced visibly. the way she looked left no doubt for thinking where she could have been all night. 

(but artemis brain was too tired to count one and one together, anyway.)

-

he helped her walking into their bed room. she could barely walk on her own, grabbed his arm firmly for support.

she pulled him onto herself once she lay down, pressing his head onto her chest and running her fingers through his curls, careful not to hurt him with her long, sharp fingernails. 

that's when artemi noticed it, frozen in place a shower ran down his back. she smelled like male fragrance, strong, musky and **unfamiliar** .

it wasn't his.

**+1**

artemis life was an utter mess after that. the feelings of sadness and emptiness have taken over his days, fogging every other emotion. he felt destroyed, drained from all happiness.

he felt like there was no way out that endless spiral of emotions he found himself in.

it got worse day after day.

-

patrick cornered him about the issue the last time he refused an invitation to go out with the after a spectacular win, again.

"come on, finally crawl out of your shell. you haven't been out with us for ages. it's going to be fun! you need to enjoying yourself more again." patrick pouted, sticking his bottom lip out.

artemi boxed him into the arm playfully but agreed nonetheless. patrick was right after all, spending time with his team after so long and a little bit of alcohol wouldn't hurt him.

-

artemi needed to drop off his gear at home before he went out, not being in the mood to drag them with himself after, while the guys just drove straight to the bar. they agreed on meeting inside. 

he was entering the dark bar alone as he sent a message to his teammates about him being there. and just like the last time he went out with his team, someone instantly caught his attention the moment he walked in. a woman in a short, black dress standing in the middle of the dancefloor. kissing a tall, objectively handsome man. 

his girlfriend.

the lights were low but it was unmistakably her, wearing the same dress she wore the time artemi saw her for the first time. her curly brown hair framing her beautiful face perfectly, the man running his fingers through it, like he used to. her lips pressed against the strangers ones, her hands fisted in his shirt. 

artemi froze at the entrance for a few moments but then he turned and quickly made his way out the door again, stumbling slightly and closing it behind him as he heard his name being called, loud enough to be heard over the music, ringing through the entire room.

but it was too late then, artemi already made his decision.

he kept walking and never looked back.

the last thing he saw was the frozen, shocked look on her face looking right into his eyes, lips swollen red and glistening with spit.

-

artemi went directly for his bedroom after he shut his front door, grabbed the bottle of vodka he knew was in a drawer in the living room and tossed his phone carelessly into a corner on his way.

he knew he wouldn't be picking it up anytime soon, anyway. 

he climbed into bed and pulled his body over his trembling body even though he was burning up from the inside. 

it was somewhat comforting, the warmth embracing him. familiar.

-

artemi wasn't able to sleep, there were to many things on his mind in that moment, keeping him awake. he felt weak, every muscle of his body aching.

he was staring at the empty space in the bed next to him, the ghost of the memories with the person ususally occupying it flooding his mind.

he squeezed his eyes shut until they hurt, to block those thoughts out.

-

artemi spent the night alone.

just him, his half empty bottle of vodka and all the broken promises laying heavy on his heart.

 

**the end**.

**Author's Note:**

> got constructive criticism? let me know in the comments, i‘d be happy to know what i can do better next time!


End file.
